Emails

[agentphilcoulson]

To: Nick Fury
From: Phil Coulson
Subject: Not What We Expected

Happy Turkey Day, Boss. Did Stark manage not to burn down the tower? Things will be taking a bit longer than expected. Widow is in deep and doesn't want to come out until she gets as much info as possible. Or until we have to pull her out.

---

To: Clint Barton
From: Phil Coulson

Did you forget to wear your cheer leading uniform or your lucky boxers yesterday? Is that why we lost? Tasha is safe but going deep. What do you know about flashbacks she's been having?

When do you ship out?

---

To: Tony Stark
From: Phil Coulson

Did you deep fry something yesterday without burning down the tower? How'd Rogers turkey come out? Have you put him in a French maid outfit or signed him up for culinary classes yet?

Btw, nice job with the Hawaii detour. But you forgot to invite me.

Comments

[agentphilcoulson]

To: Stark, Tony
From: Coulson, Phil
Subject: Perhaps I am unloved.

I take it the Tower is still standing.

Russia is charming in winter. Or something.


Handling you on a mission might be bad for my health. You don't do well with listening to your elders.

[playboy_philanthropist]

To: Coulson, Phil
From: Stark, Tony
Subject: Pfft no such thing.

Still standing. It was still standing after an alien attack, some Thanksgiving cooking is nothing compared to that. We'll need a mini-Thanksgiving part 2 when everyone gets back considering I've heard stories about your work schedules and lack of holidays.

Cold too. We'll find you bad guys in Hawaii next time.


Hey now. We were epic in Uzbekistan. And you weren't any worse for health afterwards. Although...

I have a business proposition for you for when you get back.

[agentphilcoulson]

To: Stark, Tony
From: Coulson, Phil
Subject: Why do you think we work for SHIELD?

Saving the world doesn't take holidays.

I'm partial to Bora Bora, or Fiji.

Epic in Uzbekistan sounds like the title of a porno.


Not sure when I'll get back. Talk to me.

[playboy_philanthropist]

To: Coulson, Phil
From: Stark, Tony
Subject: obviously the hours and benefits

So I've heard. Hence the part two. Seems like the thing to do.

That is now noted on your file. You're welcome.

It needs more innuendo for a porn title.


Are you familiar with Gangnam Style?

[agentphilcoulson]

To: Stark, Tony
From: Coulson, Phil
Subject: It's the toys.

Nice of you.

Your file on me or Fury's file on me?

Epic Gongs in Uzbekistan?



Me in drag wasn't enough?

[playboy_philanthropist]

To: Coulson, Phil
From: Stark, Tony
Subject: That's Stark Industries motto, you can't have it.

SHIELD's. Under important information it now says 'partial to Bora Bora or Fiji'. Again, you're welcome.


This wouldn't require drag. Although you pull it off well. Again, standing ovation on the Halloween show. I have a bet going. It'd be easier if it only involved drag. Instead it involves you, Steve, and Gangnam Style.

[agentphilcoulson]

To: Stark, Tony
From; Coulson, Phil
Subject: Because I was overqualified for supernanny?

I see.

Another bet? What do I get in return? Also, how are you getting Rogers to agree?

[playboy_philanthropist]

To: Coulson, Phil
From: Stark, Tony
Subject: Considering who you nanny, you deserve the supernanny title

Yes. What do you want? No idea. That's the flaw in planning so far. But I really want to see how War Machine looks in pink...

[agentphilcoulson]

To: Stark, Tony
From: Coulson, Phil
Subject: You're the worst I ever had

I'm sure you have something I want. War Machine in pink? How about a hello kitty paint job?

We do have prototypes of the suit. Will anyone know it's not Rogers if they see the uniform?