Agent Phil Coulson is the Best There Is

To: Nick Fury
From: Phil Coulson
Subject: Not What We Expected

Happy Turkey Day, Boss. Did Stark manage not to burn down the tower? Things will be taking a bit longer than expected. Widow is in deep and doesn't want to come out until she gets as much info as possible. Or until we have to pull her out.

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To: Clint Barton
From: Phil Coulson

Did you forget to wear your cheer leading uniform or your lucky boxers yesterday? Is that why we lost? Tasha is safe but going deep. What do you know about flashbacks she's been having?

When do you ship out?

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To: Tony Stark
From: Phil Coulson

Did you deep fry something yesterday without burning down the tower? How'd Rogers turkey come out? Have you put him in a French maid outfit or signed him up for culinary classes yet?

Btw, nice job with the Hawaii detour. But you forgot to invite me.